A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game
in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans
roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with
the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd
in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously
pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya
bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing
at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman
stands up yelling "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the
surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.
A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He
doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief
and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man!"

Here is another!

Scotman is visiting New York and is walking around in Central Park. He buys some American lunch, hot dog and soda and eats it. Then he decides to take a nap against the tree nearby.

While he is asleep, a couple of young girls come buy. One asks the other is she thinks its true that Scotsmen don't wear anything beneath their kilts. So they take a look.

Sure enough, the Sotsman is not wearing any underwear. As a joke, one of the girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his penis. Then they run off giggling.

When the Scotsman wakes up fom his nap, he naturally has to go pee. He walks behind some bushes and raises his kilt. He sees the blue ribbon around his penis and he exclaims loudly,

Och! I dinna whear ya ha been laddie, but I am proud to see ya ha won feerst place!