Now for some British humor - ADULT!!


I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed.
She was known as Oral High Jean.

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Just had a parcel from Holland , when I opened it, it was a rubber fanny.
That's nice I thought, 'Two lips from Amsterdam!’


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My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it.... But when I got home all the signs were there.


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A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer.
I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick


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My girlfriend says that a small penis won't affect our relationship.
Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!


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A woman is walking down the street and sees a sign in the pet shop window reading, "PUSSY-LICKING FROG £25" ...
Curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the pussy-licking frog, please."
To which the shopkeeper replies, "Bonjour!"


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I was on a train this morning, in the loo, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?"
"Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit."
"I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."
"No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn!"


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My son asked me today "What's the difference between a crow and a blackbird?"
I told him, "Crows have somewhat heavier beaks, fan-shaped tails and live on insects.
A blackbird has big rubbery lips, a fat arse and lives on benefits."

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Everyone's a comedian nowadays.
Even the paramedic who was unable to resuscitate Whitney couldn't avoid a gag!
When he radioed dispatch he said "It's Houston, we have a problem!"

Hmm. There is a railway station Loo, near Sochi. English-speaking tourists may have problems because of an error.

Good ones xgrunt!