As a SW fancier, I have to tell this one....

Buncha guys sitting around the the PH's campfire sippin' Sundowners & exchanging 100% true tales. Subject turns to their home states.

After the Montanans, Georgians, Down-Easters, Californicators, etc. have finished expounding the glories of their native 'hoods, it's the Texan's turn. He starts out with typical Texican modesty..."Ah'm from the biggest and best of all the contiguous 48 states, the only former independent Republic in the lower 48, the only state to single-handedly ever defeat another sovereign nation in a war, etc., etc."

Midway through his introductory remark, he's cut off in mid-phrase, by one of the other hunter's who also happens to be a priest from Boston.

Priest: "Son, that's pretty braggadocio talk from a person about a state that is mostly cactus, hot weather, and empty spaces."

Texican: "Maybe so, father, but it really is the greatest place on earth that I've ever seen. All it needs is just some good water and some good people, & it'd be a virtual Garden of Eden."

Priest: "Thats all Hell needs."

Some of my mother's people were from Texas and my father and I never misssed a chance to comment about Texas and I remember the following insults to my mother's beloved state that we told her.

Texas was laid out by the Devil -but his health couldn't stand it so he went to live in Hell.

Texas is where like nowheres else on earth - you can look farther - and see less.


In the US Senate, a Senator from Texas referred to Oklahoma as " an outlying province of Texas". The Oklahoma Senator rose and said: " Suh, NO ONE can outlie Texas!".