Is this true or not?
is your personnel bank like this?


Dear Sir:


I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement that, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.



You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the
manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I have noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded faceless entity that your bank has become.


From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, heretofore and hereafter, no longer are automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. You will be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please
find attached an application Contact Status that I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me,
there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation income, debts, assets and liabilities must be accompanied by documented proof.


In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number that he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of
button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further.


Press buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my
computer is required.
Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized
Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my
automated answering service.


While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music
will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client


ARLENE

I note this is under HUMOR
but this is very true
or has no one called their bank lately
you wear your fingers out pushin in all the numbers only to get an automated system

would be a very good giggle if the bank had to do this!!

I do all my business at a small locally owned bank and a member owned credit union. I have never had any of these problems. The bank personel always go the extra mile for me.

My friends who use the big nationwide chain banks spend a lot of time complaining about this kind of thing though. I just smile and take another draw on my beer.

Mort

I deal with a small independant bank that was just bought out by citibank. I have an account number with 2 digits in it (00000XX) with them and direct phone numbers to tellers that I know by name. When they switch me to something else, I wil switch banks.

I guess I am lucky, as I've been with one of the biggest national banks for quite a few years. They know me, my business, and when I have a question, they answer it, or get the answer for me. I don't call service centers. The moment I can't deal locally, I'm porting all my business elsewhere. They make good money off me, but they darn better well give me good service. JMO, Dutch.

Don't like the way your are being treated at your bank? Take your money to one that will treat you like a person, not a number. They are out there, rare, yes, but there.

My bank manager loves to shoot, and I just happen to have the only indoor shooting range available.

So any time I go to the bank, I make my way directly to his office, where I am offered refreshments, and any bank service I require is dealt with by him.

For instance, I cannot recall ever having to fill any forms myself, whether for paying in cheques, transferring money, buying foreign currency, or any other service the bank offers that requires a form to be filled.

He instructs one his emplyees to do it, and I just sign it.

My bank manager is my best friend

I bank with a small, local bank. I even get to sleep with my banker! Of course, I had to marry her first.
Pete

Good thinking Pete! derf

Now that is what I call service Pete!

Mort

Pete, adopted that approach as well, and it worked fine until,,,,,,, I told her to go (after 30 years, I figured that was fair - let her try other options/possibilities/partners in the widr world!).



She didn't exactly appreciate my understanding and suddenly acquired a PHENOMENAL knowledge of divorce/property settlement/custody law. Be warned - bankers have a way with them - while you're on their side!! You can draw your own conclusion!!



Peter

Peter, yeah, I've heard lawyers and bankers turn into great housekeepers at the moment of divorce...... Dutch.

Actually, I spent 39 years as a banker before I retired. My wife needs to keep working to get her kids through college (3 more years). Besides, she loves her job now that we have moved to the town where she works. Her one way commute went from 20 miles to 289 steps!
Pete

I bank at a credit union with two local branches. When I walk in to either branch, I greet the tellers by name and they respond in kind. When I give them money to deposit in my account, they don't ask for my name, or my account number, they just ask if I want it in savings or checking.
On the other hand, I withdrew about $5000 from my Wells Fargo bank to take across the street to deposit in my credit union checking account, and the WF teller asked if I'd like it in a check. I of course said yes, and I was told there would be a five dollar charge for them to make out a check. No I'm not kidding, five bucks to make out a check! I took cash.