According to the person who sent me this, these articles were genuinely entered into an official hospital register, in the specified province, here in South Africa.


Can't think of anything they may have left out..............................

Another good reason to keep your medical insurance paid up beofre boarding the plane.





Entries from the Mpumalanga Hospital Register

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with B only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

These entries don't suprise me the least.

Thanks for posting these Brad.

I recently spent 5 days in a South African hospital and this doe snot surprise me either.

Now THAT'S funny!


Cheers, Dave.

Well seeing as we ARE in the humour section it "doe snot" surprise me either!!!!

the chef

After working in hospitals and health care for fifteen years I just KNOW these are entries are true.

I once received a transfer patient from another hospital and reading the tranfer info noticed -"The paitients lungs were removed in the 70´s".

How about,

quote:

GET THAT REGISTER OUT OF MY FACE! THIS GUY IS BLEEDING TO DEATH!