The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland.
> >>
> >>One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young
> >>lady
> >>
> >>of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend
> >>was
not
> >>
> >> happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down
> >> next
to
> >>
> >> the woman. "Miss Fitzgerald", he said sternly. "This is no place
> >> for
a
> >>
> >>member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
> >>
> >>"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously pretty drunk.
> >>
> >>When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back
> >>and
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink
> >>and
> >>
> >>grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their
> >>
> >>balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few
> >>
> >>moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt
> >>
> >>hiked up to her waist. The pub landlord looked over and said,"Oi
mate,we
> >>
> >>won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."
> >>
> >> The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't
> >>
> >>understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."
> >>
> >> The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in,
> >>
> >>you might as well finish."

Billsleg:

Roman Catholic priests never refer to themselves in the first person as "Pastor" -so that sort of takes the point off your "joke" doesn't it? (I heard it more years ago than you were born as being a "fire and brimstone" Presbyterian minister) I have always made it a point never to tell any "sexual" joke about clergy. You are apparently a non Catholic Australian who is an enemy of the Roman Catholic Church. In that event, I will be happy to treat you as an enemy as well. The fact that Sambar 9.3 thought your "joke' was funny makes him my enemy as well. Don't bother with any replies. I will never visit this website again. If I were younger and saw you face to face I would only want to put a bullet where your mouths are. The English are right. You people talk a much better game than you ever have played.

gerry375,

I reread the joke twice trying to find the Catholic reference.
I'm thinking you should wait till your sober before you threaten to shoot folks for something they didn't do.

Hmmm....I thought Gerry was kidding. If so, then "hahahahaha." If not, then we can say whatever we want about him because he's never going to visit this website again.

Okay, so we'll make it a pub in England, or even Canada. Everybody happy now?

quote:

Originally posted by Grizzly Adams:
Okay, so we'll make it a pub in England, or even Canada. Everybody happy now?

Canada's good.

gerry375,
Explain to me how your statement threatening to shoot Billsleg in the face is any different than some Islamist terrorist threatening to blow up a movie house because he doesn't like the content of the movie.

You religious fanatics regardless of which faith you belong to, are a dangerous bunch of freaks.

So if you have indeed gone from this website, never to return... so be it and good riddance. If you still lurk, know that I think you are a dangerous idiot and are milking without a bucket to boot.

I"m still trying to figure out how he got 200 posts before the cheese slipped off his cracker.

And.....
Since I'm already going to hell.....

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone. "Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old bastard" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years."