A cop is sitting in his patrol car, 2:30 a.m., watching the entrance to a bar. A man lurches through the door of the bar, falls down, gets up, staggers to the nearest car, collapses against it, takes a ring of keys out of his pocket, drops them, crawls around until he finds them, gets up, tries each key in the car door. None fits.

He staggers around to the next car, and the next, dropping and recovering his keys at each car, trying each key at each car. None fits.

Eventually, he finds his car, opens the door, gets in, starts the car, and with jerks and erratic steering gets it over the curb and onto the street where he lays rubber on the pavement and disappears zig-zagging down the street. The cop takes off after him, and after a bit of a chase finally gets him to pull over and get out of the car.

"What's the problem, officer?"

"I'm going to have to take you in. You're drunk."

"Oh, not me! I haven't had a drink since last week. Got that breath-a-wheezer thing? I'll show you."

Sure enough, not a trace of alcohol. The cop's puzzled.

"I don't understand this. Why were you driving like you were drunk?"

"Oh, that! Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

In Texas, they would prosecute you for that. They prosecuted people for flashing headlights at oncoming traffic to warn them of a highway patrol speed trap -- effectively slowing down traffic, which I thought was the goal.

I had an old friend years ago who got pulled over in San Angelo.He was drunk;really drunk. However before the cops got to his car he got out + cracked open a new bottle of whiskey in their headlights + camera + chugged it down. They had to give him a P.I. because they could not prove a DWI. Big difference in fines,etc.

Lavaca,an addendum to your comment concerning their goal. I have come to believe that the public's safety is not near as important as revenue.

This is somewhat related. Without looking it up, a few days ago one member of a group of self-styled "cop watchers" who are also open carry advocates (said member was open carrying at this time) was just sentenced to 90 days for interfering with police (or similar charge) in Arlington (six flags city to those not familiar with DFW area). Sentence is under appeal.

I mean, really, if you're going to film police, and you are open carrying, what do you expect? These dumbasses are in for some kind of honorary stupid award.

I think police should be filmed, and I think this sentence is wrong, but damn, some people don't have any common sense at all.

I looked an article up.....

link

quote:

I have come to believe that the public's safety is not near as important as revenue.

A few weeks ago I got my 1st speeding ticket since 2003.
The local officer said I was doing 82mph, my speedometer & my GPS said 78. I had seen several state troopers in the median radaring & none paid me any attention.
I received a letter from the district attorney offering me a deferral to pay $200 & it would not go on my record.
I felt like that would probably be cheaper in the long run & sent a check.
From the very beginning I knew it was just about the $$$$$$$$$$.

Indeed. Another member here who will go unnamed unless he chooses to give it told me about an accident he had about 3 years ago. v
He was coming north on I35 on a Sunday from Cabela's about 3o in the afternoon.Family in the club cab pickup. Wetback comes up from behind + tail ends him so hard that he sheared his motor mounts + dropped his engine right there. Middle of the afternoon,3 times over the drunk limit,no insurance,no license,no green card.I told my friend that I hoped they put him under the jail. He said,No they let him go on personal recog. He had no money,see.

Cop pulls over a speeding car.
The man driving says hes a juggler and late for a gig.
Cop says show me and i'll let you go.
Out comes 8 balls and in no time flat they're in the air.
Seconds later a car pulls up behind the cop car.
Out climbas a man that silently go over to the cop car and enters the back seat.
Cop goes over and asks what's going on.
Man says i may not be pissed off my tits but no way i can do that sobriety test.