Taoism - Shit Happens....

Hare Krishna - Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding....

Hinduism - This Shit Happened Before....

Islam - If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage....

Zen - What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening....

Buddhism - When Shit Happens. Is It Really Shit....

Confucianism - Confucius, Says Shit Happens....

7th Day Adventism - Shit Happens On Saturdays....

Protestantism - Shit Won't Happen, If I Work Harder....

Catholicism - If Shit Happens I Deserve It....

Jehovah's Witness - Knock, Knock, Shit Happens....

Unitarianism - What Is This Shit....

Mormon - Shit Happens, Again & Again & Again....

Judaism - Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Me....

Rastafarianism - Let's Smoke This Shit....