The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to

tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

"Tony, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story

about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane
got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of

whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way

down so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the
middle

of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until
she ran

out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade
broke, and

then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your

daddy tell you from this horrible story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking.

Now that's funny.