Liberals, Conservatives, and Southerners
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners? Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...

(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

No wonder you Johnny Rebs lost the War. You needed that many shots?

What's wrong with this scenario?

A liberal who's an expert shot carrying a gun?!?!?

Leo,
I have hunted with some very liberal folks who I would characterise as EXPERT SHOTS. Not all liberals are gun haters.

Mort Canard

You forgot to throw in what that bug-eyed bitch Sarah Brady says to do: negotiate with someone who wants to kill you. She says it will work if you are sincere enough. Give it a try; give peace a chance.

Bring the war home!! Vote Dean 2004.

Don't need that many shots, but take them anyway. Why? What the hell are you asking THAT for? You one of them liberal, Yankees?