A big time LA attorney decides he needs a little R&R and desides to take his new shotgun and go to Texas duckhunting.

He is on a pond in a blind the first morning, and as the first ducks fly over he blazes away with his new shotgun.

Only one duck comes falling out of the sky, and lands in a farmers field next to the pond he is hunting off of.

The farmer has a No Trespassing Sign up but being a big shot LA attorney he just scoffs at it and climbs over the fence to retrieve his duck.

While he is walking up to where the duck fell, up comes the old Texas famer on his John Deere. He pulls up to the attorney and asks him what he is doing.

"Retrieving the duck I shot" he replies.
"Didn't you see that No Trespass Sign" asks the Farmer.

" yeah I saw it, so what" answers the attorney.

"well you can just get your ass back over the fence and get off of my property" says the farmer.

"Screw you old man" replies the attorney. " I just happen to be one of the highest paid attorneys in Los Angeles and if you don't let me retrieve my duck I will sue your ass until you haven't got a pot to piss in!"

"Tell you what" says the Farmer. "If you want the duck so bad, them you want to settle it by the Texas 3 Kick rule, and you win, then the duck's yours".

"What is the Texas 3 kick rule " asks the attorney.

" Well One of us kicks the other one three times and then he kicks the first guy back three times and we keep doing that until someone gives up"

As the attorney sizes up the 70 plus year old Texas farmer, he thinks how hard can this be?
" Sure I will settle it Texas style"
"Heck I will even let you go first old man"

" Well that is mighty kind of you" says the old farmer.

He walks up and just looks at the attorney for a few moments until the attorney's return glare is side tracked by something else. As soon as the attorney glances away the old man, kicks the attorney in the nuts as hard as he can with his steel toed boots.

The attorney falls to his knees, hold his privates and moaning in agony. As he is down there, the old Texas farmer hauls off and kicks him in the stomach as hard as he can.

This time the attorney falls down and is laying on his side groaning in severe agony. Then the old farmer walks up and kicks him in the face as hard as he can, almost taking his nose off of his face.

Bleeding severely from his nose and clutching his aching nuts, the attorney slowly staggers to his feet. " Okay old man, its my turn now"

"Nope" said the old farmer.

"why not" asks the attorney.

As the old farmer climbs back up onto his John Deere he replies :" Nope, I give up, the ducks yours"

God Bless Texas!!!