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One of Us |
THINGS THAT SOUTHERN BOYS WILL NEVER SAY... 30. When I retire, I'm movin' North. 29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won't fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken with a slice of lime. 26. We don't keep guns in this house. 25. You can't feed that to the dog. 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 23. Wrestling is fake. 22. We're vegetarians. 21. Do you think my gut is too big? 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits, grits and gravy. 19. Honey, we don't need another dog. 18. Who gives a rip who won the Civil War? 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 14. Trim the fat off that steak. 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 12. The tires on that truck are too dang big. 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE. 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 8. I've got two cases of Blue Moon iced down for the Super Bowl. 7. Checkmate! 6. She's too young to be wearing that bikini. 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 4. I don't have a favorite football team. 3. "Youse Guys" 2. Those cutoffs ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY: 1. No more beer for me. I'm driving a whole busload of us down to help with the Elizabeth Warren Campaign. -- | ||
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Yes Indeed Y'All. | |||
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Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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Grilling and BBQ is the same thing. You cant take a cooler to church. | |||
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Yooze guys LORD, let my bullets go where my crosshairs show. Not all who wander are lost. NEVER TRUST A FART!!! Cecil Leonard | |||
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Some of my Yankee friends have a hard time understanding that "All Ya'll" isn't just the plural of "Ya'll", which wouldn't really make sense. It's mostly to add emphasis. | |||
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Indeed! As in "All Ya'll get your ass back north over the Mason Dixon line." Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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When I was a 4 to 6 year old there was a still up the end of the dead end road from where we lived in western Pennsylvania We got "punished" if we ever got caught up there. There was a glass bottle maker some where near by and made the blue bottles for Milk of Magnesia that had over runs. Selling those extra bottles filled moonshine was called BlueMoon Me thinks two cases of those would be situation where nobody finished that Super bowl game | |||
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