Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily.

“What’s up Dave?” asked the bartender…It’s not like you to be so down in the mouth.”

“It’s my eight year old son…” the man replied.

“Don't tell me, he’s in trouble for fighting in school? – my lad’s just the same – forget about it; it happens to boys that age” said the bartender, sympathetically.

“ I only wish it was that” continued the customer“ but it’s far worse than that.

The little bastard has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant.”

“Get away, that’s impossible!” gasped the bartender !

“It’s not” said the man.

"The little bugger stuck a pin in all my condoms.”