An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.. "Guido, I wana you lissina me. I wana you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home, and maybe a couple of bambinos. Then one-a day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anotha man. Whatta you gonna do then- pointa you watch and say, 'Times up'? "