(I read this joke on an English website and have changed around names like "boot" for "trunk" and ask American readers to make allowances for our very good Troopers and Highway Patrol officers who wouldn't need "back up" to get this guy out of the car and at the point of a gun)

A guy is pulled over for speeding. The officer asks for a driver's license. The guy says he doesn't have one. " I lost it years ago for drunk driving". The officer is somewhat taken aback and now asks for the registration papers for the car. The driver says:" I don't have any. I stole the car. In fact, I killed the owner of the car and she's in the trunk".

At this point the officer calls for back up. Four police cars arrive and a senior officer walks up to the driver.

The senior officer says: " I understand that you have no driver's license and stole this car after murdering the owner". The driver says: NOT SO! - and produces a valid driving license, registration papers for the car in his name. He also invites the senior officer to inspect the trunk - and it is empty.

The senior officer makes apologies for his officer being so wrong.

The driver says: " I bet the lying bastard also told you that I was speeding!"



No

It was late friday afternoon and a guy is cruisin' home in his Porsche Turbo.... he is cruisin' at 115 mph when he sees bright flashing lights right behind him.

He thinks to himself "I can definitely outrun this cop, why even bother pulling over..." so he mashes the gas and he pulls far away from the cop. His speedo reads, 120, 130, 140, 150... Then his senses finally catches up with him and he thinks to himself "What the hell am I doing!" and pulls over.

Finally when the officer catches up and walks up to the guy he says "Look, today is a friday, I'm tired & I really dont feel like doin' more paperwork. If you can give me a Good excuse why u left me so far behind back there, i'll yet you go"

The man thinks to himself and replies " Two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your car coming up, I was afraid you were trying to bring her back!"

"Have a nice day" says the Officer.

Now that's funny!

Cheers, Dave