Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for
a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of
Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who
was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she
replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the
$800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her
legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand
up her leg. ! The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest
removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm
129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, ! you
might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

! Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit
asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and
ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.


Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got
the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied
the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a
lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach
the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, there he was! proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon
he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull **** might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

The moral of lesson #5 does NOT apply to military promotions.