A Pirate's Plight

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you
in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon
ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to
your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got
into a sword fight.. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm
fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over.
I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from
bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook."