HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM...

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
CHICAGO.

One hand on wheel, middle finger out window:
NEW YORK.

One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of
traffic: NEW JERSEY.

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator:
BOSTON.

One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell
phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
From MONTANA, but driving in CALIFORNIA.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk
to someone in back seat: ITALY.

One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet
being on the accelerator, and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag
out the window: TEXAS.

Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on
floor, Prairie Dog tails attached to antenna: WYOMING.

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving
35 mph on the Interstate, in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA.

One hand on the wheel, the other on his sister: ALABAMA