While hiking along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River and struggle to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he carried. With him was a Mexican who also struggled to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they would surely drown. I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security. It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded. I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.