I am looking for someone who can relocate a duck - thats the short story

I have a pool and every year a mallard and a hen show up and occupy my pool until I open it. This may sound dumb..... but I am serious. I have always had an assortment of methods to chase them away - and easily, bottle rockets etc.. radio, teenagers. Eventually they end up somewhere else - just not my pool. This year the hen showed up without the mallard. She won't leave and I'm pretty sure its the same one that has been here every year.

She won't leave, and I'm too nice to just go and be mean.

Well, I feel completely stupid, if someone knows how to extract a duck, well, I'm all ears.

Oh and YES I do get laughed at, at the office.....

Is there an online dating service for ducks?

Hey I've heard them all.

Lemme know....

Thanks for looking.. and stop laughing - I am serious

**************** UPDATE ******************

Thank you Craigslist people who have sent me a link to

plentyofduck

I probably misrepresented the hen as well... in heat or something..... (SORRY HEN)

Well, of course it took about 2 minutes to find a greenhead and they are a happy couple.. See Pic #2

Now.. I'm changing gears...

I'm having a fundraiser so that they can get a room... and do what they are doing now..... not in my pool...........

If you STILL want to relocate the ducks, they need a honeymoon suite..... somewhere else...

Glad someone (something) is making the best of this warm evening

THIS IS NOT A JOKE !!!!!!!!!


************* LAST UPDATE ******************

WOW ...... this went way out of hand...

NO I WILL NOT MAKE A PORN DUCK SITE!!!!!!!!!!! You Craigslist >>>&^&&^%&% ... people scare me.... read a book or something

35+ years ago I had chickens + Muscovy ducks. Long story short, the rooster took a shine to the muscovy drake...pecked his eye out (they were all just squabs @ the time)When they matured (false tense)The drake chased the rooster around the yard until he caught him + then fuxxed him;every single time.The rooster died a nervous wreck always looking over his shoulder.This is a TRUE story but feel free to make a parable out of it.

Well the duck finally exacted his revenge and in a slow way too. Kind of like putting a pedophile in jail isn't it?