Upon reaching 65, I decided to retire.
After having me under foot for a few months,
my wife became very agitated with me.
She suggested I go and do something to occupy my time,
like join a club or get a hobby.
I obliged and went out for a couple of hours.

When I got home my wife asked about my day and I replied,
"Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys.
And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.

"What? Are you nuts?
You're 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"You crazy old coot, where's your glasses!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club|
not a Parachute Club!"

"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do?
I signed up for 5 jumps a week!"

How do you sign up for one of those?

You used to be able to do that at the Chicken Ranch near La Grange...