1. A Catholic boy in confession says, Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister.
That's a disgrace, said the priest, especially when you have two
gorgeous younger brothers.

2. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault.
I should have taken them off.

3. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.

4. After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, ?Fuck it, soldier
on!

5. I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didnt know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves
breakfast until 11:30.

6. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair
last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

7. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told
her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

8. My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

9. A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's
Olympic 100 meter final. I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?" "No," she said,
"Eight black men and a gun."

10. A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to
this country so that they can see their own doctor.

11. I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife
look like she's moving during sex.

I like # 9 for some odd reason.

Oh yeah,even though I'm white.Traayvon should look like me.Espescially if he be 195 lbs.,tatooded across his face,be built like a buck,
capable of beating my head into the concrete,etc.He is one that is greatfully taken out of the gene pool.If this tags me as a "rascist" then let the devil take his due,I am fed up with it!I had no race issues in my bones until it was thrust upon me,+ I grew up in the early 60's integration times.So now I call them nxxxer when before we would have had no worries. Jesse+ Al you have created your own Hell. I do not wish you happiness,I wish you grief,due to your hatred you have condemned a large part of society to ruin,strickly for your own hatefull adgenda.Can I get an AMEN?!!!

Big Amen!!

#7 is oddly funny, but I hope my wife never reads this or #3 will definitely become more ironic.

For you Norman
http://m.youtube.com/watch?fea...re%3Dplayer_embedded

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Oh yeah,even though I'm white.Traayvon should look like me.Espescially if he be 195 lbs.,tatooded across his face,be built like a buck,
capable of beating my head into the concrete,etc.He is one that is greatfully taken out of the gene pool.If this tags me as a "rascist" then let the devil take his due,I am fed up with it!I had no race issues in my bones until it was thrust upon me,+ I grew up in the early 60's integration times.So now I call them nxxxer when before we would have had no worries. Jesse+ Al you have created your own Hell. I do not wish you happiness,I wish you grief,due to your hatred you have condemned a large part of society to ruin,strickly for your own hatefull adgenda.Can I get an AMEN?!!!

amen!!

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Oh yeah,even though I'm white.Traayvon should look like me.Espescially if he be 195 lbs.,tatooded across his face,be built like a buck,
capable of beating my head into the concrete,etc.He is one that is greatfully taken out of the gene pool.If this tags me as a "rascist" then let the devil take his due,I am fed up with it!I had no race issues in my bones until it was thrust upon me,+ I grew up in the early 60's integration times.So now I call them nxxxer when before we would have had no worries. Jesse+ Al you have created your own Hell. I do not wish you happiness,I wish you grief,due to your hatred you have condemned a large part of society to ruin,strickly for your own hatefull adgenda.Can I get an AMEN?!!!

How the fk did we get Here from defrosting a fridge ?

Grizz

Amen!