My dearest Redneck Son.
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. Not sure if it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week.The first time for three days, and the second for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send, your uncle Billy-Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on so I had to cut them off. You'll find them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if your an aunt or uncle. It's the dangdest thing, they say the baby looks just like your brother?
Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned... We had him cremated. He burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was driving. he rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends, Cletus & Buford were in the back. They drowned cause they couldn't get the tailgate down.