1) The later you come home at night, the happier your dog is to see you.

2) If you call your dog by someone else's name, he doesn't even notice.

3) Your dog loves it when you leave stuff strewn around the floor in the house.

4) Your dog's parents never come to visit.

5) Dogs don't mind if you raise your voice to make yourself understood.

6) Your dog finds you funny when you're a little too drunk.

7) You never have to wait for your dog, they're always ready to go, 24/7.

8) Your dog likes to hunt and fish.

9) Dogs don't wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "If I die will you get another dog?"

10) Your dog won't think you're a pervert if you make him wear a spiked collar.

11) If your dog finds the smell of another dog on you he won't get miffed, he finds it interesting.

12) When your dog leaves you, he won't take half of your belongings with him.

Lock your wife/girlfriend and your dog in the trunk of your car and come back in an hour- then see which one is really happy to see you when you open it.