it vas thirstday und lena had made a big pot of beans and bacon. svede und oly had aten der fill und retir4ed to de barn to hav a farting contest. it sounded like a tunderstorm outside und lena vent to investigate. ven she got in de barn de boys telled her dat she vas just a slip of a girl und could not compete vith dem. lena telled dem dat she could even do better den dey could.
vell witt dat svede woulnd up and let von go dat had the horses run for dover. oly he laughed at svede und let von go dat shook the whole barn. lena just laughede at dem and let one go deat broke every vindow in de barn.
both da boys stared at her vith vonder. svede he vas so curious dat he vent over and lifted lendas dr4ss up and looked to see how she could do dat a;ugh no vonder he says vy did you not tell us you had a double barfrel

Like the Aussie who tells his girl "Let's wrestle!" She says I can't cuz its that time of the month. He says what do mean that time of the month? This goes back + forth for a bit + then she says look mate, I'm bleeding alright? He says, let me see then says, of course, you're bleeding mate, somebody cut your bloody cock off! Don't blame me, that was in National Lampoons "Unwanted Foreigners" edition.