I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom; until they're flashing behind you

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swi;mming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say "Your password is incorrect"...

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have it worse than they do.

I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

TV may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

If you keep both feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting your pants on.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Every stop to think and forget to start again?

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking, than men spend thinking.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most of us are still the do it yourself type.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If Tomatoes are technically a fruit; is ketchup a smoothie?

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary.

And, I will close on this note: "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken..."
Oscar Wilde.

Pondering All This Can Cause One To Drink,Even More Than Usual.But That Is Great.