Subject: Redneck;

A redneck passed away and left his entire estate in trust

for his beloved widow.... However, she can't touch it until she turns 14.

Rednecks now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more. They were
told 17 and under are not admitted.

The minimum drinking age for Rednecks has been raised to 32. It seems
they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Reruns of "Hee Haw" are considered as documentaries to a redneck.

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

The redneck lottery is a new $3,000,000 State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a year
for a million years.

The best thing to ever come out of some states is Interstate 40.

An State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the redneck driver, "Got
any ID?"

The driver said, "Bout what?"

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Subject: Bubba



Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her

to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees

that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies

are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not

Bubba; he's an idiot!"

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's

name?"

"Denise," the doctor answers.

The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong

about my brother. I really like the name Denise."

Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, "Denephew."
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Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy, oh boy, did we go around!
Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.
Guess I won that stupid argument.

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One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.

Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."

My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you dear."

quote:

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Originally posted by TCLouis:

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

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What is this "spit"??