Did You Know...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home. Maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm ome. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of 6 - 7 football fields.

(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....................)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

I am calling for research immediately to see if lions will mate with pigs. Quantity and quality, I always say!

Hey Ron, I can halve the time in number 2 but it is hard for others to breath! derf

Well ,I think my wife could get a job at the atomic commission.(Number 2 which is a good number for it) I am sure she could beat 6 years, I think one good week end should do it!!
Peter

According to my wife, I routinely plaster her to the bedroom wall in the middle of the night along with the covers and sheets. I really hate it when she sprays my ass with room freshner, some of that stuff BURNS! I also could cut the time down, probably to about 1 year. My wife says I have the ability to turn any perfectly good food into a noxious odor that will knock buzzards out of a tree at 50 yards!