FOOTBALL TRUTHS

(1) What does the average Univ. of Florida player get on his SATs?
........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
......There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Longhorn football player's life?
........His freshman year.

(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco?
....... Durham , North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.

(10) How do you keep an FSU football player out of your front yard?
....................Erect a goal post!

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal clash).....

(11) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

That's funny right there, I don't care where ya went to school.

The Dane,

in this country soccer is primarily a cheap way to have someone babysit your children on Saturday so your wife can go shopping.

Rich

Forgot two:

What is the difference between a Notre Dame cheerleader and a baby elephant? About thirty pounds, if you force feed the elephant.

Why does the University of Idaho have artificial turf in their stadium? Keeps the cheerleaders from grazing at half time.

Rich

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
The Dane,

in this country soccer is primarily a cheap way to have someone babysit your children on Saturday so your wife can go shopping.

Rich

Very true. It also attracts many who can't take the punishment of American football. Not knocking soccer players in the U.S. but our best athletes don't play it and I'd rather watch the paint fade on my car that never leaves the garage than watch it.

Around here we think of soccer as a missed opportunity for the border patrol to round up truck loads of Illegals in one spot.

How much talent can it take to play kickball if five year olds can play it?

The reason "soccer" is so popular in the 3rd world is because 20 guys can save up to buy a ball!

They could never afford Football or Baseball!

.

Just a question: Why do football kickers all kick soccer style? And when was the last time you saw a football player run 20 yards with the ball and stay in the game? They have to go to the side line to rest.