Spotted in a toilet of an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

In an office:
WILL THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY
PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN.

In an office lunchroom:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND
STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES,
ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A
WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR
FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW
TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE
DOOR; THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

R-WEST