Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid" That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
says "Hey,you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.
Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
Talked 'em into giving up.
Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it.

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to
him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge... Here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said
"Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.
Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

Did you enjoy the rest of the "Bloe Collar Comedy Tour" DVD as well?
Bill Engval sends his regards.

As yes, reminds me of the good days - reading Al Jaffe (Mad Magazine) and Mad's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.



MM

I work with several of those people....

well im sure bill engvall will love those

quote:

Originally posted by bigduke:
well im sure bill engvall will love those

What is your deal?

Who TF is Bill Engvall?? Never heard of the guy.

If you are implying that I intentionally stole those lines from one of his Cd's or DVD's or whatever, you are wrong.

The reality is that it was taken from an anonymous email that was doing the rounds down here and I posted it on this forum for the amusement of others, that's it ok.

It's not mine, it was public domain, I never stole it, I'm not trying to cut this guy's lunch or claim credit for it in any way whatsoever. (I just don't have that kind of talent for one thing.)


Apologies to Mr Engval, whoever he is.

Sorry, didn't know you didn't have cable in "the Valley, South Oz".

quote:

Originally posted by Avatar:
Who TF is Bill Engvall?? Never heard of the guy.

If you are implying that I intentionally stole those lines from one of his Cd's or DVD's or whatever, you are wrong.

The reality is that it was taken from an anonymous email that was doing the rounds down here and I posted it on this forum for the amusement of others, that's it ok.

It's not mine, it was public domain, I never stole it, I'm not trying to cut this guy's lunch or claim credit for it in any way whatsoever. (I just don't have that kind of talent for one thing.)


Apologies to Mr Engval, whoever he is.

Bill Enval is an American comedian and the "Here's Your Sign" is some of his work. He has a show with Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy, and Larry the Cable Guy called Blue Collar Comedy.

Bill Engval is from the Georgetown Texas area, and has done standup for a number of years. He got famous for his "Here's you sign" material. He is in the Blue Collar Comedy group. His later stuff is not as funny as the "Sign" stuff. Ron White is trying out new material and trying to break away, but he is not as funny as he was either. Jeff Foxworthy is famous for his "You might be a Redneck" Material. Larry the Cable guy can be funny, but his material is sometime lingers in the gross too long. Just talking and making stuff up he is probably the most natually funny one of the group.

MTB
Just a FYI kind of thing.
About 6 months ago I listened to a rather long interview with a upper midwest comic, he claimed to have beeen using the "get-er-done" line, and other parts of Larry's routene, in small clubs years before Larry became famous with it. Anyway, he stated that he has a lot of respect for Ron, Jeff, and Bill as they won't use stolen material vs Larry who dosn't care what the source is as long as he's making money on it.

quote:

Sorry, didn't know you didn't have cable in "the Valley, South Oz".

Yes we have cable (satellite actually), running water and the wireless too.
You'd be amazed at what we have down here.

Where's your sign.

Tailgunner, sounds like Larry the Cable Guy is like somebody from "The Valley, South Oz".