The Irish daughter had not been to her parent's house for over 5 years. Upon
her return, her enraged father asks, "Where have you been all this time,
you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how
you
were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what
you put your Mum through??!!"

The crying girl replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT!!? Get out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK Dad, I'll leave, but I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat,
a
title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, and a savings account certificate for
Ј5 million. I have this gold Rolex for my brother, and for you Daddy, the
spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside...
AND a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)... and an
invitation for all of you to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in
the
Riviera, and...."

Her father interrupts; "Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"

"Oh!- you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said 'a Protestant'.
Come here and give your old man a hug!"