Pecos walks into a bar and sits down. A few drinks later, he�s pretty drunk, so he goes to take out his wallet to pay but realizes that he left it at home.
He says to the bartender �Hey bartender, I can�t pay for the drinks, I left my wallet at home.�
The bartender replies �Well in that case I have three things you can do for me and we�ll call it even, ok?�
Pecos says �Sure, what are they?�
�First,� the bartender replies �you have to go downstairs into the basement and pull this tooth out of the back of my dog�s mouth because it has a cavity. The second thing is you have to go upstairs and screw this 85-year-old lady who�s still a virgin and you have to give her an orgasm. The last thing you have to do is sweep my floor, are you sure that you�re willing to do these three things?�
Pecos, drunk as he was, nodded and got up. He went downstairs and opened the door to the basement and saw the meanest, roughest, dirtiest, most rabid-infested pit bull chained to the opposite wall that he had ever seen in his life, frothing at the mouth and barking at him. He calmly shut the door and upstairs the bartender began to hear barking and shouting and snapping and screaming and thrashing around so much that pictures began to fall off the wall.
A minute later, the noise ceased and Pecoslimped up the stairs, bleeding from all over his body. His arm was broken and his face was torn up and there were bite marks all over him.
�Oh God,� said the bartender, �you need to see a doctor!�
�Nah I'm alright,� replied Pecos , �Now where�s that old bitch with the toothache?�

Sorry about the plagerism, but I'm just not as clever as my rank smelling friend, Edmond.

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"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." �Conan O'Brien

"Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw that one up?" �Jay Leno

"President Bush and National Security Guard Tom Ridge launched the new Department of Homeland Security, just 24 hours after taking us down to threat level French � I'm sorry, I mean threat level yellow." �Craig Kilborn

"President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Wow, this guy can't stop slamming the French." �Craig Kilborn

"After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be dead. Hey, France, thanks a lot. We'll take it from here. Hard to believe they were invaded twice." �Jay Leno

"French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly." �Jay Leno

"Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures � just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done." �Jay Leno

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