There once was a man from Eau Claire
Who made love to his wife on the stair
The bannister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And polished her off in mid-air

I'm a sucker for a happy ending

There once was a man from Boston,
Who drove a mini Austin
There was room for his ass
and a tank of gas,
but his dog fell out and he lost 'im.

There once was a man from nantucket
he kept all his cash in a bucket
his daughter named Nan ran away from the man
and as for the bucket?
Nantucket

sorry boys, trying to keep these a little on the "clean" side.