A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and
feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a
newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope
you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily. A
little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about
Herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up
to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47,
but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I
can tell you exactly how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead." He slips both of his
hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
"Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"

The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"No," she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."