A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.


A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”


Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”


In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels.”


On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”


On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”


On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout.”


On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts”


In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
will take appropriate action.”


On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.”


At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”


Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”


At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”


In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”


In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”


At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”


In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”


And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
You dump it, we pump it.