THE "MAN" TEST


1. If you're over forty and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have s pent
the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and the Oprah
diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it
grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed ; a nd just t hink about
how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,
Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, r ing- p ops, or any such nonsense, rest
assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab
claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else
and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public restroom or piss in a parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet;
he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as
Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy
Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there
too..

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or a half dozen
different types of dessert other than ice cream and cake or pie, you might
as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space
in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out the color
mauve you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton
or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
blow on a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because
you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you're definitely on the
verge of being a salami smuggler.

That is just tits!

If you can spell keesh, you are a bobber.

Rich

I call BS on a couple of those.

#6 all hunters should know Wool, Goretex and Silent weave.

#6 any one who has been in a good hunting camp should recognize more than 6 desserts.

Aw, jeez. Another 'ignore' doofus.

MT,

in a real hunting camp Glen Fiddich and a good handmade Cigar is what you have for dessert. Corralejo if you are hunting the southwest.

Rich
DRSS

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
MT,

in a real hunting camp Glen Fiddich and a good handmade Cigar is what you have for dessert. Corralejo if you are hunting the southwest.

Rich
DRSS

most of the "glens" are good so long as they are older than 12 years.

I like Macallan too and Glenfarclas 25 year old and Glenmorangie!