> > A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little
> > perch.
> >
> >
> > It doesn't have any feet or legs.
> >
> >
> > The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
> >
> >
> > The parrot says, 'I was born this way.
> >
> > I'm a defective parrot.'
> >
> >
> > 'Holy crap,' the guy replies.
> >
> >
> > 'You actually understood and answered me. !'
> >
> >
> > 'I got every word,' says the parrot.
> >
> >
> > 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
> >
> > 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.
> >
> >
> > 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'
> >
> > 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I
> > wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
> >
> >
> > You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
> >
> >
> > 'Wow,' says the guy.
> >
> >
> > 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'
> >
> > 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
> > reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports,
> > physics, philosophy.
> >
> >
> > I'm especially good at ornithology.
> >
> >
> > You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
> >
> >
> > The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.
> >
> >
> > 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
> >
> > 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
> > me, cause I don't have any feet.
> >
> >
> > You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'
> >
> > The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
> >
> > Weeks go by.
> >
> >
> > The parrot is sensational.
> >
> > He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
> > understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
> >
> >
> > The guy is delighted.
> >
> >
> > One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
> > 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
> >
> >
> > 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife,
> > and the UPS man.'
> >
> > 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
> >
> > 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the
> > door, in a sheer black nightie.'
> >
> >
> > 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
> >
> >
> > 'THEN what happened?'
> >
> > 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and
> > began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
> >
> > 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'
> >
> >
> > 'Yes.
> >
> >
> > Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began
> > to kiss her all over.'
> >
> > Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'
> >
> > DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'
>

=

LOL!!!!