A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE
> OFF FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL. BEFORE THE FINAL
> MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM
> AND SAID, "NOW, DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE
> DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH
> BECAUSE OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE HAS. WHATEVER YOU
> DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE
> DOES, YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN
> ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
>
> AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN
> CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN
> OPENING.
>
> ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD,
> GRABBING THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE
> DREADED PRETZEL HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT
> AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS
> FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE
>
> KNEW ALL WAS LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE
> INEVITABLE! HAPPEN.
>
> SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE
> CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN TIME
> TO WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS
> BACK HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK
> COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING
> THE MATCH.
>
> THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS
> WRESTLER ALONE,
>
> HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF THAT HOLD?
> NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"
>
> THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP
> WHEN HE GOT ME
>
> IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY
> EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT
> OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST
> OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT
> THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD."
>
> SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM
> OFF!"
>
> "NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET
> WHEN YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS."
>