In a trial, in a small South Carolina town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God. She says "I do."
She was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."
The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for or a few moments. Then, he slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? "She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, big-mouthed and has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be thrown in jail for contempt. Is that clear?"
quote:Originally posted by mike338: Birman, what does POTKB, and GTTTW mean?
mike338 - POTKB = Piss On The Keyboard, This is what I do when I laugh too hard.
GKTTW = Get Kicked To The Wall, This is what happens when I POTKB. I just realized I spelled GKTTW wrong I just got out of the detoc center so excuse me .
Back To My Bowl Birman
Posts: 515 | Location: The fields of Delaware but now Pa too | Registered: 04 June 2003