This is about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and
that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was
concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas
morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs
sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards
and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing tears
in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him
what was the matter.

He said, "Darling, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I
didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, Vaseline and these
two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!"



Smedley