When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I
needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and
threatened suicide So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She
rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad
impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun
initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl
with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser. I am NOW looking for a girl with big tits.

You could not have done that at 14, but could have at 16, had you only known!