The Tree Hugger
A lady from Berkely, California, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract.
She wanted to get a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl. Surprised, she spoke a soft greeting to the owl; whereupon it immediately attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor. She told him what an environmentalist and anti-hunter she was, and how she came to get all the splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth from a recreational area, and I'm sorry, but they all turned me down."

It certainly wasn't virgin bush.