MALE v FEMALE at THE ATM

new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
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MALE PROCEDURE:

1... Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off..

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FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is true.!!)



1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN ...

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.

Ha ha ha! I love the step:
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

Funny But True.Yaking On Cell Phone While Doing All This,Most Dont hang Up.

Another truism!

LOL Looks good although I have never seen my wife draw money out of an ATM since if we go anywhere together I am invariably driving so I make any withdrawals.

However, I think there a couple of steps left out of the men's checklist if wifey is in the vehicle.
Here is my amended procedure if she is in the car with me:

1... Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3a. Confirm the amount of cash to be withdrawn.
3b. Cough to get her attention away from the book/Nook Scrabble game/phone call.
3c. Reconfirm the amount to be withdrawn.

4. Enter amount of cash required.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5a. Reacquire wife's attention.
5b. Hand cash withdrawn to wife.
5c. Humbly and gratefully accept any monies returned to you. (Note this step is not common but does occasionally occur)

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off..