Body found in the River......

Salem Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Willamette river just west of the Marion Bridge. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama t-shirt. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.

The police removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.


Police DO care