1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying….. let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

5. I don't like making plans for the day….. because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

I particularly like #'s 1 + 9.

I Like #1 And #4. All Apply To Todays World.

Common sense is like deodorant.
Those who need it the most rarely uses it.