Back in "73 I was rebuilding a '47 Willy's pickup and finding parts was nearly impossible.

Driving by a farm's junk area I noticed one and stopped. The yard was full of small barking dogs, chickens, turkeys, ducks and some geese.
One was a big gray gander with a 3 foot long neck. Am sure you've seen them.

Birds were all behaving fine. The damned dogs
were barking at my feet so I was watching them.

I'd knocked on the door when that fkg gander took a bite out of my ass cheek! Damn that hurt!

Within seconds the lady opened the door as I was dancing around. "I'm sorry, was upstairs in the shower and came down as quick as I could those dogs and the gander work that game on everyone they can".

I had a route business selling truck parts. One of my customers had a huge Tom turkey that was a pet. Many a time I petted his neck. When I drove up he'd come waddling over to tell me hello.

I had taken on some chemicals to sell. Their sales mgr felt I needed to concentrate on their products more and went along for the ride. Both Charlie and I told Tom to get Randy. He tried, every time he got close Randy would move away.

When we left he told me: "Did you see that fucking turkey, he was Stalking me!" I nearly choked trying not to laugh.

George

I was in Hidiksvalle in Sweden.

My wife went shopping, and went for a walk around a lake they had in that city.

Lots of birds, ducks, geese, swans.

I was walking along, and I could see ahead of me a goose scaring the day light out of anyone coming close.

I continued towards it, getting my video camera ready.

I turn the camera on as I approached it.

A few yards away, she decided to attack.

I stood my ground, and continued taking a video.

It got to a couple of feet before she reached me, and stopped dead!

Everyone around started laughing.

I said “quack quack quack!”

The goose turned around and left.

I said to the people standing there “that was goose language. I told her I will have her fir dinner!”

More laughter.

David Letterman went to Ball State and often joked that Ball State was the Cardinals and a Cardinal would put fear in anyone. This was a running joke of his. I trap sparrows as I have Purple Martin houses and once had a Cardinal in my trap. I reached in and got the Cardinal and that thing bit down on me and they can crack nuts with that pointed beak, I'll never catch another Cardinal with my bare hands.

Ha, you ever try to unhook a seagull
that hit a trolling lure and got caught?

Took a chunk out of my leather glove I just
happened to think of putting on before grabbing
the bird.

George

I have an acquaintance that tells when he was a kid, whipped it out to take a piss when he was in a barnyard + a drake grabbed ahold (probably thought it was a grub) anyway tore him up pretty bad.

we had a couple of geese years back.

one would always go after the wife's younger brother whenever he went out in the pasture.
one day I looked out there and the goose was laying flat on it's back and looked pretty dead.

I walked out there to see what was up, and found the BIL sitting on the wood chopping stump rubbing his hand.

apparently the goose went after him and he punched it hard enough to knock it out.
that bird never went near him again.. LOL.


another one we had was fond of getting into our Chessie's dog food.
it would reach through the chain link fence and steal what it could.
one day I went out and noticed a bunch of feathers all over the fence area.
apparently the dog finally caught the big barnyard goose and pulled it through the chain link fence and ate it.
it opened the link in the fence to about 4-5"s around getting it in there.

Norm:

Here's a true story about the same subject.

While in the Army in Germany 71-73. Down the haul in commo in another section. A guy named John Gerhardt shared a room with 4 others. Seems the guy everytime someone would say something.

He'd mouth off: "well just suck my dick!"
Dozen or more times a day, it got mighty old.

Finally one of his roomies told him: "John hang it out here!" He did. this other guy grabbed on and headed out the door, down the hall and stairs with John yelling.

Just outside the door was a low hedge he turned and jumped that and lost his grip.

Our bunch was clear down the long hall and heard the yelling going on thinking there was a fight.

That was the last time he spouted that crap off. It would have a been great to have seen it happen.

George

I'm out in the country + many years ago my next door neighbor raised chickens + ducks (a LOT). Any way onto barnyard fun. We had a rooster that literally ruled the roost (or thought he did). He took offense to a young drake + pecked out his eye.The drake remembered. When he had grown he would chase that rooster all over the yard (chickens are fast but have low stamina) catch him, grab him by the nape of the neck + then Fxxk him, on a daily basis. That poor old rooster got so nervous trying to look everywhere at once constantly that he began to moult + we finally just killed him out of kindness.

George, along those same lines as your story, a buddy of mine was on a minesweep + told me this one. Seemed there was that same kind of talk. (Eat me!, I'll eat all you cut off,etc.) well one of the guys said O.K. how about for $100.00 bucks? This was in front of everyone. Idiot took the dare. The 1st sailor dropped his pants, grabbed his knife + a pubic hair + pulled just enough flesh up to cut off + said "here you go, eat up or pay up." Obviously, he eventually paid up + $100.00 in 1962 was a lot of money.