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Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've
been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These
last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your
job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even
notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a
brand new pair of silk thongs.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
sitcoms. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me
or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Wife

P.S. don't try to find me. Your brother & I are moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I
have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what
you've been. I watch my TV so much because they drown out your constant
whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a
hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just
like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't
say something nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
my brother, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk
thongs: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50
from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when
I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born
Carla . I hope that's not a problem.

That is downright funny!!!

My Side Still Hurts

That is too good!!!