If you don’t laugh....something is wrong!!!



One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in

love. When it became apparent that we would

marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave

up beans.



Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke

down on the way home from work. Since I lived

in the countryside I called my husband and told

him that I would be late because I had to walk

home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and

the odor of baked beans was more than I could

stand.


With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk

off any ill effects by the time I reached home,

so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it,

I had consumed three large orders of baked

beans. All the way home, I made sure that I

released ALL the gas.



Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to

see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I

have a surprise for dinner tonight!'



He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at

the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he

was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone

rang.


He made me promise not to touch the blindfold

until he returned and went to answer the call.



The baked beans I had consumed were still

affecting me and the pressure was becoming most

unbearable, so while my husband was out of the

room I seized the opportunity, shifted my

weight to one leg and let one go. It was not

only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer

truck running over a skunk in front of a

pulpwood mill.


I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air

around me vigorously.



Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off

three more. The stink was worse than cooked

cabbage!!!



Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the

conversation in the other room, I went on like

this for another few minutes. The pleasure

was indescribable.


When eventually the telephone farewells

signaled the end of my freedom,I quickly

fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,

placed it on my lap and folded my hands back

on it feeling very relieved and pleased with

myself.



My face must have been the picture of innocence

when my husband returned,apologizing for taking

so long. He asked me if I had peeked through

the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.



At this point, he removed the blindfold, and

twelve dinner guest seated around the table

chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'


I fainted !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(Nothing like a little bathroom humor to bring out our inner child!)

John