Larry is sitting at home all alone when there's a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two deputy sheriffs. Larry asks if there is some problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife. Larry says "sure" and shows them a picture. The other deputy says "I'm very sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck." Larry replies, "Yeah, I know it, but she has a great personality, and is an excellent cook!"

Then there was the Aggie that was called at his dorm by the police to identify his roommate in a murder/dismemberment. When they got to the morgue, they held up an arm, + the guy say's, well that looks like his watch, but I'm not sure. They show him a leg + the guy says, those look like his sneakers, but I'm not sure. So they take his head by the hair + hold it up + the guy says, well, that sure looks like him, but I don't remember him being that tall.

Ding, ding, ding!! Winner.